MBA Mommy

Part MBA, Part MRS, Part MOM…..All ME


Posted by mbamommy on August 29, 2011

One 4th of July when I was still in college, I was hanging out with friends, drinking beers (or, at least, that’s the type of intoxication I’m going to say we were doing on this blog….it is a family blog after all) and waiting for the fireworks to start.  My college friends were pretty typical for (and of) me: odd, funny, irreverent, loud, wild….and anything but normal.  We were making our typical ruckus, ignoring the looks from the other people around us and just having a good time when I sat down and actually started looking around and taking it all in.  I mean, we’re talking about small town America on the 4th of July: BBQs, beers, kids running around, hot dogs…all wholesome and normal and s*#t.  And I realized that I would never be that.  All wholesome and normal and s*#t.  And I decided I was ok with that.  I was having fun, enjoying my “individual-ness” and, anyway, normal is overrated, right?

Fast forward a few (not telling how many) years and viewing my life through the eyes of that college student, I actually look pretty normal.  Pretty wholesome and normal and s#*t.  I have the husband and 2 kids and dog and 2 car garage.  Hell, our rental house even has the white picket fence if you can believe it.

But, my life is FAR from normal.

Normal doesn’t have to deal with meltdowns that can last a full day.  Normal doesn’t have to strategically plan a play date or pizza night at a friend’s house so that we can avoid all hell breaking loose at the end of it.  Normal doesn’t have to know about ABA therapy and OT and Speech therapy and IEPs and paraprofessionals.  Normal doesn’t have to worry whether or not your 4.5 year old will run out of the grocery store and across the parking lot before you haul him back to the car.  Normal doesn’t have to see the looks you get when you’re hauling your 4.5 year old who’s hitting you while dragging your 3 yo after you while she’s crying because she’s scared of what’s happening.

Normal doesn’t have to be “THAT” Mom all the time.

But, in my world, that’s normal.  I guess I was right way back then. I will never be all wholesome and normal and s#*t.  Of course, the naive 20-something that I was thought that not being normal meant that I’d buck the trend and do something wild and crazy with my life.  Like travel the world and move to New Zealand and marry a kiwi and have fabulous adventures.

I didn’t quite expect my “normal” to look like this.  And, sometimes I wish I was one of those “normal” folks.  It looks so easy.  Yesterday, I definitely did.  I wish I didn’t have to special order a gluten-free pizza and buy special low sugar, no gluten desserts.  I wish I didn’t have to teach my son the necessity of common niceties like saying “Hello” and “Goodbye” and “Thanks for letting us play with your toys.”   I wish I didn’t have to feel disappointed and sad when those things don’t come easily or at all.  I wish I didn’t have to have a post-mortem with J after every social fiasco so that we can learn from it and hopefully not repeat the same mistakes again.  I wish that every life transition didn’t require me to put everything on hold so I can help my family get through it.  I wish I could have just one day where I didn’t have to plot and strategize everything to make it easier for him.

But, today I’m thinking that there’s no such thing as “normal” and behind all that wholesome-ness, everyone’s got their challenges.  And that we’re a heck of a lot better off than lots of other people.  And, that everyone has bad days and I had one yesterday and I shouldn’t make it more than it is: just a bad day.

I remind myself that I’m living in Holland now and not Italy.  And I take the mental break and give myself the outlets I need to continue living my life…..normally.

Yesterday was a bad day.  Today is a good day.  Tomorrow will be my own special brand of normal and wholesome and s#*t.

2 Responses to “Normally”

  1. Normal is a relative term. In my eyes you are absolutely 100% normal. You love your children, you would do anything to protect them. You help maneuver them through the world so they will be the most successful. Sure, what your children need from you might be different from what another child needs from his/her mother, but that’s OK.

    Normal is overrated and it takes all kinds of people to make this world. Normal is being the great mom you are and listening to your children’s needs and and fulfilling them in a way that helps them grow.

    In my observations as a teacher, there is something unique and different about every family. It is actually very rare to find that “normal” family that you envisioned so long ago. And if those families are so rare – are they truly the norm…

    Have a fabulously “normal” day!!!

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