MBA Mommy

Part MBA, Part MRS, Part MOM…..All ME

Throwing out the garbage

Posted by mbamommy on August 31, 2011

Have I ever mentioned I’m brilliant?  No?  It’s true.  I’m totally brilliant.

Well, at least in my own head.  And only on occasions.

Like this one.

I’ve figured out how to fix our garbage issue.  And, I’m not talking about MY garbage issue.  I’m talking about the collective “our”.  The entire world’s garbage.  Wanna know what it is?

Throw it out.  Waaayyyyyy out.  Into outer space.

I know, I know, some of you naysayers out there are probably going to get all uptight and self-righteous and s#*t….saying that we can’t just throw our garbage into outer space because then it’s gonna pollute the alien’s yards and leak methane out of their dumps and take their landfill space.  I get it.  I can see why you’d be hesitant.

Wait….no I don’t.

How friggin big is outer space?  Do we even KNOW?  We just launched an unmanned space craft to go take pics of Saturn or Jupiter or something and it’s gonna take that thing 5 years to get there.  5 YEARS PEOPLE.  So, that means that IF we have neighbors (and that’s a BIG IF because we haven’t found any yet) they’re REALLY FAR AWAY.  And, if the Big Bang theory is correct, the universe continues to expand.  So, if we throw our garbage out, it’ll just expand right along with the universe.  So, if we did have neighbors and we’re concerned they’ll be all “Yo, WTF?  Did you just litter in my galaxy?” we don’t really have to worry….they may not EVER see it!  The universe is THAT big!

OK….so then what are some other concerns?  Cost?  Well, yeah….that’s a concern.  It costs a lot to throw out all that garbage.  But, the US isn’t even a player in the space program right now…how about we get the US government to partner with Waste Management and figure something out?  I bet it’d create a few jobs, right?  It’ll definitely give all those out of work astronauts and rocket scientist something to do at least.  Let’s bring China into the international space program, maybe we could partner with them?  Share the costs?  China owns us anyway, the least we could do is bring them into the fray, right?

How about this: we could throw a couple tons of garbage on any shuttle that goes into orbit.  Kind of like a hitchhiker….and in 5-10 years, we’d have gotten rid of everything.  Easy peasy!

And then, once we get rid of all our garbage, we can start again fresh.  Really focus on those alternative forms of energy, reclaim our land and be smart about how we dispose of things from now on: Reduse, Reuse, Recycle and all that.

So….eliminating our garbage, creating jobs, re-entering the space program, bringing about world peace through creating a global waste elimination project?  We could call it Waste Not, Want Not.

I’m totally brilliant.

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