MBA Mommy

Part MBA, Part MRS, Part MOM…..All ME

Be Real Not Perfect

Posted by mbamommy on September 30, 2011

I’ve been ignoring my blog for a few days now because I’m trying to get this post straight in my head.  But, I also can’t get it out of my head so I might as well dump it here, right?

The other day I read this amazing post from Single Dad Laughing called “The Disease Called Perfection“.  I found him because a friend posted a link on Facebook, I in turn re-posted it and several friends of mine re-posted again.  Viral, anyone?  And, here’s the thing.  The post is SO FLIPPIN WORTH READING.   It shocked me, made me cry, made me re-evaluate everything I’ve ever thought.  Literally.  I was already a fan of the Imperfect Movement.  And, now I am a HUGE fan of SDL.  I guess the perfect/imperfect issue isn’t limited to just  special needs kids.

So, here it is.  Me Being Real.  Wait….please, read SDL‘s post first, otherwise this list won’t make a lot of sense to you.

There are days when getting out of bed is a chore.  Well, not really getting out of bed.  It’s the getting through the day that’s a chore. When I’d rather just sit and stare into space than work, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, pick up and drop off the kids, cook the meals, playwith the kids.  These are the days that I daydream of escaping.

I hate the way I look.  I’m embarrassed about my weight (and, sadly, if you looked at me, you’d probably think I was nuts).  And I tend to not have the follow through to really do anything about it.  As soon as I start to see a difference in how I look, I sabotage myself.  And I cannot for the life of me figure out why.

I’m extremely critical of others.  And I think it’s to make myself feel better.

I scream at my kids too much.

I don’t have enough patience with my kids too much.

I’m short with my husband too much.

I’ve spanked my kids before.  Out of sheer anger and frustration.

I pick my nose.  And then I get mad at Z when he does it.

I’m extremely hard on myself, beating myself up for ever error and mistake I make.  Whether it’s large or small, it’s completely all-encompassing in my own mind.

There are more Real things about me…waaaayyyyy more imperfections…I could go on and on about those imperfections.  But, I’m not going to because that would be a downward spiral that I don’t want to get myself into right now.  Instead, I’d like to point out where I think SDL comes up short.  He challenges all of us to Be Real.  To show our Imperfections.  OK, I did that.  But, what about the things that are good?  That I should be proud of?  That I NEED to shout out about as much as I NEED to shout out the imperfections.  Isn’t that a part of being real?  Not just being honest about the tough stuff but also being honest about the good stuff.  All too often we focus on the negative, shameful things in our lives…even if it’s in our own head.  We don’t give the good stuff enough light.

So, here it is again.  Me Being Real.

I’m a good friend.  I may not have a ton of time to see them, but at the end of the day, I’m someone my friends know they can call.

I’m a good advocate for my son. I’ve changed my entire life plans and aspirations in order to give him the tools he needs to be happy and successful.  No, it wasn’t what I wanted to do.  But, it’s what I needed to do.

I’m a good role model for S.  And, it’s because of her that I continually try harder.  Because I want her to grow up to be like the best me.

I’m a good wife.  I support J in any new initiative he wants to do.  I rarely say no to his plans.

I’ve got some good ‘guns’.

I have a pretty face.

I’m smarter than the average bear.

I’m a good writer.

What about you?  Be Real.  Here.  Now.  Tell me everything.  Especially the good stuff.

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6 Responses to “Be Real Not Perfect”

  1. singlegirlmodernworld said

    It’s not easy to admit your shortcomings, and sometimes even harder to admit the things you’re great at. I loved this post and SDL’s as well! Thank’s for sharing!

  2. Erica said

    Being Real Not Perfect……

    Most my life, I have been accused of being too real and in turn been told how not perfect I am.

    Those of you that know me, know I’m pretty straight forward and maybe a little too black and white.

    I feel like I should be more successful in life at this age and compare myself to pretty much everyone in my circle of friends and family.

    I don’t expect much from others, but expect everything from my husband.

    I am extremely judgmental and I stereotype more than I like to admit.

    I tell my husband I’m fat almost everyday and it’s not to hear him say, “No you aren’t”, it’s to hear him say “I love you no matter what.”

    But in the last 2 years I had a life changing experience and everything that has influenced me in my life positively and negatively up to this point became completely clear.

    I had a chronic illness since birth and just until 2 years ago, my father found me this amazing surgeon in the most unlikely tiny town in Buckhannon, WV…she cured me, changed my life and those around me…for the better. My recovery was 9 very weak and sick weeks in a hospital room.
    Long Story Short:

    My marriage is as wonderful and strong as I tell people.

    I can finally see my parents/brother for what they are and have been all my life and have told them face to face and continue to remind them how truly amazing they are.

    Living in Hawaii has taught me the true meaning of Aloha and I serve it daily and proudly.

    I embrace all my positive and negative emotions and I make sure to channel them in a healthy direction. It’s okay to feel; feeling reminds you that you’re alive.

    I wear my bikini to the ocean with all my surgery scars on my belly; proudly with no shame even though I see everyone everyone staring at them. I am beautiful and strong.

    I have friends that love me and care about me, even if I don’t hear from them everyday, month, or year.

    I am healthy, smart, and loved.

    • mbamommy said

      Amen, sister. You ARE beautiful, healthy, smart and very loved. Especially from your friend in Colorado who never gets to see you. I’m so glad you commented….not glad you went through the chronic illness, but so glad to know you’re healthy now. I miss you….stay positive!

  3. This post had me thinking all week. I remember reading the SDL post last year when it went viral. But something never sat right with me. Don’t get me wrong, I think his post is invaluable and it was heartbreaking to read the stories of people who took their own lives because they didn’t live up to the perfect expectations of others.

    But your post finishes what SDL’s did not. We do need to think about our positives, what we can do, what we already have.

    If I always focused on my imperfections and said to the world “Take me as I am!” then I would never grow. I would always be on the defensive rather than the offensive.

    Great post.

    • mbamommy said

      Thanks, Jennifer. It honestly didn’t occur to me that there was another side of the equation until I started writing my post. Seeing all those imperfections and confessions on the page kind of made me sad. So I wanted to re-channel and remind myself of all the good things too.

      Really thrilled that the post got you thinking!!!! What a compliment! 🙂

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