MBA Mommy

Part MBA, Part MRS, Part MOM…..All ME

Archive for the ‘MRS’ Category

Make it Count

Posted by mbamommy on August 7, 2012

In my last couple posts, I’ve made reference to the fact that there’s been a lot of change around here recently, which led to my blog absence. In some sense it’s been pretty life changing. All good changes, thankfully, nothing like going through Z’s diagnosis a couple years ago, but life changing nonetheless.

Almost exactly a year ago today, I posted about my life as a slot machine. Well, the slots have stopped. The Refresh button has been pressed. FINALLY!

The kids are fully entrenched in their languange immersion school. They’re doing so well that S actually won a speech contest earlier this year. They’re making friends, having fun and learning a ton. What more could I ask for?

J’s job is going great. He’s loving it and is on a fantastic career track.

We bought a HOUSE. We’re no longer renting our teeny tiny temporary home and have found our dream house. I’m never moving again. Seriously, it’s from here to the old folks home. I can walk the kids to school. I can walk to Starbuck’s. I can walk to the parks, the pool and my friend’s houses. It’s an easy commute to downtown and basically anywhere else I’d want to go in Denver. I’m so thrilled to have found it and so happy to have that stability in our lives.

I found a JOB. A full time job, working at a really great digital agency, managing top brand clients, making more money than I expected and with a Senior Director title.

I quit that JOB. A full time agency job, with all its stressors, travel, and demands on my time and mental bandwidth turned out to not be what I wanted. I could have done the job. We, as a family, could’ve manage the travel, the hours, the chaos, the craziness. But I realized that I didn’t WANT to. Yes, it was great to have the extra money. Yes, it was fun to be challenged and work with smart, engaging peeps. But, I wasn’t sleeping. I was eating poorly, not working out and drinking too much. I wasn’t healthy and I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t being true to myself and playing to my strengths.

I started another JOB. A part time, work at home opportunity with my previous client. This one is perfect. Just enough responsibility without requiring me to be on call 24/7. Minimal travel (only once a year), working with great folks in an industry I love and with the flexibility required to keep my family running smoothly. I’m making some money, not a ton, but some.

And, who knows, maybe someday it’ll lead to something more. But for now, it’s allowing me the balance I so deeply crave. It’s allowing the MBA, the MOM, the MRS and the ME to have equal opportunity to shine. I’m happy and I’m being true to myself.  Not all the time, of course. I’ve certainly had my moments. This is life, not a game show, afterall. But, with the balance I’ve created, worked for and am lucky enough to have, I can handle those moments better.

I can (dare I say it?) have it all.

The morning after I left my previous job I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

Now that we’ve completed the refresh of our lives I can actually start living it. Between Crossfit, eating well, working part time, playing with the kids, playing with J and living in Colorado, I think I can make it count.

Posted in MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Labels

Posted by mbamommy on December 15, 2011

I am….

a mother

a wife

a sister

a daughter

an advocate

a friend

an ear

a shoulder

a heart

a brain

a body

a life

a tear

a smile

a giggle

a tickle finger

a Mommy monster

a squeeze

a hug

a kiss

a hand

a sigh

beautiful

strong

willful

independent

curious

scared

unsure

confident

loving

angry

sad

joyous

…me.

I do…

autism

a job

an exercise

a meal

some housework

a lot of talking

a lot of reading

a lot of writing

some yoga

some meditating

errands

pick up/drop off

child care

driving

discipline

…things.

There’s a difference.

Posted in ASPERGER'S, AUTISM, MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Mile High Mamas

Posted by mbamommy on September 2, 2011

Well lookie here…

Wait, not here….

Over here

Take a look, spend some time over there and then come back here and I’ll explain everything.

Go on….I’ll wait…..

You back?  Great!  Did you notice that one of my old posts is on that page?  The one where I talk about Z’s diagnosis…or rather, the first in a 4 part series where I talk about that whole process….

How cool is that?  I somehow lucked out in meeting Amber, the editor of Mile High Mamas, online and she asked me to be a guest blogger, focusing on, you guessed it, Aspie’s.  I showed her some of my old posts and she asked if she could post the I Know How I’m Going To Die.  So, I of course said, YES!!!!  PLEASE!!!  I’d LOVE to share my story!

So….there it is in a nutshell.  I get to be a guest blogger about once a month on this super cool local Moms website, Mile High Mamas.  I’ll let you know the next time I’m over there.  Oh yes, I’m all about shameless self-promotion.  And, you should be all about promoting me too!  Tell your friends!  Tell your loved ones!!  Tell that weird homeless guy on the corner!!!  Wait…he probably doesn’t have a computer….you can probably forget about him.

And, while you’re over there, take a look around, make some comments.  Especially if you’re a Mom in CO.  It’s such a great site!

Posted in ASPERGER'S, AUTISM, MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Run Daddy Run

Posted by mbamommy on August 5, 2011

As you may remember, back in May, J ran the Colfax marathon in order to raise money for the Colorado Autism Society.  It was a momentous event for our little family and one that each of us got to play a role in.

At the end of this post, I’ve added the letter he sent out to everyone who donated, but what that probably doesn’t portray was how moved we were of the outpouring of love and support from our friends and family.  Folks, we’re talking about people who don’t have any extra money to do anything for themselves…much less donate their hard earned money as a show of support for us and our little man.  There were countless nights when J and I would review the donations coming in and both of us would have tears in our eyes.  We truly truly have the most amazing network of friends. People who didn’t even know us directly were donating!  It was amazing.

The day of the race was cold, grey and overcast.  Sadly, the kiddos had to wear sweatshirts over their t-shirts and long sleeves under.  Z put up a HUGE fight because he was VERY concerned Daddy wouldn’t see his shirt when he ran by.  I was able to appease him by promising that as soon as we saw Daddy he’d be able to take his sweatshirt off.  J started running at around 6am, reporting later that it actually snowed the first couple miles.  Z, S and I got to the end of the race a little earlier than I would have liked because I wasn’t sure how long it would take to find parking, how crowded the race would be, etc etc.  Lucky for us there was plenty of open space and not a lot of noise within 1/4 mile from the finish line.  We set up camp in a grassy area where they could play and I could keep an eye out for the moving autism ribbon.  The kids were good, but getting cold and restless….then…there he was…right on time…. Z ripped his sweatshirt off and RAN out to meet Daddy.  Z, with a full tank of gas, made it tough for poor Daddy to keep up!  S tried her darndest to follow along but just wasn’t fast enough so she and I ran on the sidelines as the boys crossed the finish line together.  I overheard very sweet comments about little Z man and his “Run Daddy Run” shirt and saw smiles the faces of the spectators watching them run in together…..it was definitely a moment I’ll never forget.  I wish I could share pics from when they crossed over, they’re absolutely amazing, but alas, they’re also not free.

I *can* share this one though….

And, this one was posted in the ASC summer newsletter (along with a one-page Volunteer Profile of J).  You can tell the kiddos were done with the cold at this point.

And finally, the thank you letter J sent out:

As a supporter to our cause, you helped make this project a complete success:
  • The team I help organize surpassed its fundraising goal by 20%, providing a pleasant surprise to the finance committee chair at the Autism Society of Colorado for the 2011 budget year
  • Thanks to you, I was the #1 fundraiser, inspiring me to continue with another race of some type later this year
  • I finished the marathon in 3 hours, 27 minutes (beating my goal of 3:30)
  • Perhaps most importantly to me, I had the personal joy and honor of running the final 0.2 miles with the Z-man himself.  He took his mini-race very seriously, and I had trouble keeping up when he started to run, but when we crossed the finish line, I hugged him, and he said, “Daddy, that was fun, but next time I want to run with you FROM THE START of the race”.  (Something tells me that day isn’t as far away as I think!)
So, from all the C’s, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  Personally, I cannot tell you how grateful I am, and I promise you that 4.5yr old Z will, one day, truly understand what you did for him.
“It is not enough to prepare our children for the world; we also must prepare the world for our children.”
– Luis J. Rodriguez
Best,

J

Posted in ASPERGER'S, AUTISM, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

From Here to There, From There to Here…..

Posted by mbamommy on August 4, 2011

…funny things are everywhere.

I realized yesterday that it was a year ago this week that our migration to Colorado began.  J had just received his job offer and I jumped on a plane and spent 4 days looking at rentals, schools and therapy providers.

Was it really just a year ago?  It feels like a lifetime and a minute all rolled into one.  So much has happened in a year and so much more will happen as we go forward (ugh….I shouldn’t try to be philosophical before I have my coffee in the morning…that was terrible).

I have an analogy I like to use to describe my family’s situation right now.  You know how when you play a slot machine, you pull the the lever (or, I guess these days you just press a button), and the slots spin around and around, slowing down one by one until they line up along the line?  And then you see what you’ve won?  I feel like our life is kind of like that slot machine.  The first slot has stopped spinning….the kids/school situation.  The second one is slowing….J’s job situation.  The third one is still spinning and will need to continue until the other two are in place (me!).

To go in more depth about that, I should give a (semi) brief update on how everyone’s doing.

Z is doing amazingly well.  When we first got here and he started preschool with his IEP and private therapy services, they had to do a lot of interventions to help him regulate his sensory overloads and learn how to play with other kids.  We (J, I, his therapists and the teachers) literally had to teach him how to play.  And, not just the turn-taking stuff that every kid has to learn. We also had to teach him to read expressions, understand the give and take of a conversation and how to be flexible enough to allow other people (adults first and then kids) influence the games they were playing without having a complete meltdown when he wasn’t scripting everything.  In the beginning, the OT would bring him in from recess early and take him to the ‘motor room’ where she had a swing and a dark, quiet corner where he could wind down.  Otherwise, his sensory system completely overloaded with the transition from playground to loud, chaotic bathroom to sitting down in a classroom.  By the end of the year, not only was he a part of every minute of the class, he was helping other kids resolve conflicts and the SpEd team was using games/therapies they usually reserve for kindergarteners because he blew through the more age appropriate stuff!

It wasn’t an easy road in the least.  I spent a lot of my time driving him to and from school and therapy (he spent 10 hrs a week in school and 10 hrs a week in therapy).  But the teams he worked with were all angels…truly seeing my son and his strengths and using those strengths to work through the weaknesses.  One example: Z is obsessed with airplanes.  Has been for as long as I can remember.  So, his school OT created a game where she’d ask him “How is your engine running?  Fast, like an F-16?  Just right, like a Blackhawk? Or slow, like a Bi-plane?”  She used it to help him identify how he was feeling and she altered the traditional usage from Winnie the Pooh (fast like Tigger, just right like Pooh or slow like Eeyore) to something he could relate to.  She made charts for school, home and his private therapy so we could all use it.  He loved it and was able to identify how he was feeling and we could help him regulate from there.

A year ago, Z would scream when we washed his hair during bath.  He HATED getting his hair and face wet and we’d have to take extra precautions not to get water in his face or ears….I think it actually hurt him somehow.  We started swim lessons at the beginning of the summer and for weeks he would cry and get upset whenever his teacher wanted him to put his head under water.  And then…one day…BAM….he was swimming.  Something clicked in that little head of his and now we can’t keep him ABOVE water!  He graduated to the next level of swim school.  He’s extremely strong and can swim a good ways across the pool underwater.  We’re at the pool all weekend, with him jumping in, swimming to us and back to the wall, jumping off our shoulders, playing with older kids…he even ventured into the deep end last weekend!  J and I look at each other sometimes and say, “Is that really our little Z?!”

Before we moved here, I heard horror stories about services available in Colorado.  How the schools weren’t great, how there weren’t experienced service providers, insurance didn’t cover autism related services, etc etc.  I have to say that I’ve had nothing but amazing experiences with everyone who’s worked with Z.  They were right about insurance….the situation is abominable….I’ve even thought about getting in touch with Erin Brokovich to see if she could make a difference, but I’ve been a little busy with my own little life so far.

So….Z’s doing so well that we stopped therapy for the summer.  I don’t think we’ll be starting ABA again but we are in the process of getting OT rolling again.  He’s still got some challenges regulating himself (what 4yo doesn’t, right?) and because of his new school environment (more on that in a minute) we think it’s still important to have outside support.

The biggest change (for me, at least) is my relationship with me.  A year ago, he could take me or leave me.  He was ALL about Daddy.  I would have to coerce affection out of him.  For some reason, he just wasn’t interested in hugging and kissing me…or anyone else for that matter…just Daddy.  There were nights when I would go into his room to say goodnight when he and Daddy were reading and J would be close to threatening him with timeout so that he’d give me a hug. I always stopped him before it got to that point, satisfying myself with just blowing him a kiss.  And, I understood what was going on.  But, it still sucked.

He still fights me at every turn.  His logical little brain constantly looks for ways to rationalize his way out of doing his chores or anything else I tell him to do.  He questions everything and refuses to accept a half answer, which I mistakenly try to give him sometimes.  But instead of hitting, scratching, biting, kicking when I say no to him, he (mostly) accepts it.  Pouting and telling me he’s mad at me of course…..but a FAR cry from our arguments of a year ago.  Folks, he TELLS me he’s mad.  Do you understand how HUGE that it?

Anyway, our relationship has changed and evolved into something I treasure.  He asks for me to read books to him at night.  He asks me to cuddle with him.  He comes to me when he’s upset.  He freely gives me hugs and kisses, even sometimes without me asking for them.  He tells me he loves me and squeezes even harder.  Those parents of kiddos on the spectrum that are reading this will understand how unbelievably precious this is.  Those parents of NT kiddos…..please cherish each and every hug, they are a blessing.  I find myself waiting until he lets go to end an embrace because every hug reminds me of when I used to not get them.  And I never want them to stop.  Hopefully now they won’t (at least until high school and I’m a constant embarrassment to him).

OK, so now little S….who’s not so little anymore.  My baby girl.  What can I say about her?  Well….not much without getting teary.  She’s our angel, she’s our diva, she’s the light of our house and she can just as easily bring our home crumbling down around her with her tantrums.  She’s growing a very funny, very sweet, very LARGE personality.  Her teachers all love her and comment on her dramatic way of talking.  She’s all hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions.  She’s a smart little lady who excels at everything big bro doesn’t: relationships, friends, reading people….street smarts to his book smarts.  She’s a tough little girl who won’t back down to bullying by big bro.  She’s a natural athlete who can throw a ball better than Z.  She’s not afraid of anything and is usually the one leading Z into trying new things (like swimming).  She’s my girly-girl who loves all things pink (including her elephants) but is dirty from head to toe at the end of every day.  She idolizes big bro, is a Daddy’s girl and has an amazing bond with Mommy.  She’s a snuggler and a cuddler and a jokester all in one.  What’s the saying?  “When she’s good she’s very very good.  And when she’s bad she’s terrible.”?  Something like that.  Well, that’s my S.  She’s stubborn, independent and opinionated. (I have NO idea where she gets that). She keeps us on our toes and laughing all the time.  I remember being terrified of having a girl….and now I couldn’t imagine life without her.

So…school.  We’ve decided to send the kids to a language immersion school to learn Mandarin.  They’re in camp at the school this summer and they both LOVE it.  They come home every day with new words, new songs, new friends.  J and I are so far extremely impressed with the school, the community, the education….we’re so excited we found this for our kids.

And, because that first slot has stopped moving, everything else can slowly fall into place.  The kids are in a great spot…they’ve got their groove on.  And it’s so wonderful to see after all we’ve been through.

As for J….well, he’s getting his groove on too.  I’ll write more about his marathon in another post (or, maybe have him write it? hmmm….) but as far as getting involved in the Denver community and finding a good job fit…well, it’s all there.  Now that my gregarious, outgoing husband is out from behind his desk and doing what he was born to do, his career path is bright and solid.  His “thing” this summer is golf and he’s taking full advantage of the Colorado summer to get out on the course and hack away.  Recently, he and I began a workout program called Insanity.  The workout is hard….insane, if you will.  But what’s truly insane is we get up at 5:30am in the morning to do it.  Crazy, right?  But, it’s been fun.  It helps your motivation when the person who’s sleeping next to you is pushing you out of bed when the alarm goes off.  It’s motivating to hear the huffing and puffing and under-your-breath swearing going on right next to you.  It’s an amazing way to wake up and keep your energy going throughout the day.  And, if NOTHING else goes right for the rest of the day, at least you worked out!  J and I end every workout high fiving and fist bumping.  It’s fun to have something new to do together.  And, boy, do we sleep well!

I know I was the driving force behind us moving to CO, but he’s certainly a willing participant.  He drank the kool-ade and we’re both loving living here.

And, finally, me.  Well, my slot is still spinning.  There are a lot of things that still need to be finalized before mine stops.  Things like finally selling our house in NC (we have a contract but it’s contingent on them selling their house).  Things like figuring out whether I want to/need to and can/can not go back to work full time.  And, what will that look like?  Where would I work full time?  Do I  formalize the contract/consulting I’m doing now?  Do I want to?  And, what’s best for my family?  For me?  So many questions.

But, that’s all really ok.  Because, I’m having the time of my life right now.  J and I have dubbed this summer the “Summer of MBA Mommy”.  I’m working part time and the kids are in camp all day.  I’ve got free time to do the things I want to do (yoga, blog, reading, writing, walking, seeing friends) and free time to do the things I need to do.  I’m making some money….not a ton….but not nothing either.  I’ve written before about wanting to Be Present in my life and I will write more about Finding Balance.  I feel that I’ve struck the perfect balance this summer.  Frankly, I feel like I’ve won the lottery.  Freedom during the summer in Colorado?  There’s not much more I could ask for….well, except for someone to buy our buyer’s house so I can stop my obsessive online house hunting and start for real….anyone in the market for a new house in Raleigh?  I know a GREAT one you could buy. 🙂

Because then? JACKPOT.

Posted in ASPERGER'S, AUTISM, MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

26.2 for Autism

Posted by mbamommy on April 18, 2011

Today’s post is a guest post. My darling hubby is running yet another marathon in May. But, this is the most important one he’s ever run. No longer are his goals to be Boston bound or break 3 hrs (although either or both of those would be AH-MAZING). This time around, he’s running for the Z man. And for every other family in Colorado touched by autism. He’s running to raise money for the Autism Society of Colorado. Below is the fund raising letter he’s sending out to friends and family. We, of course, would be thrilled with any support you’re able to give. But, mostly, I’m posting this to increase awareness. It is Autism Awareness month afterall.


April 2011

Dear family and friends,

I hope your 2011 is going great. As you may know, April is Autism Awareness Month, but as you may not know, autism is something that our family has been living with since November 2009.

Each year 1 in 110 children are diagnosed with autism, and it is also estimated that 4 in 10 people know someone with autism. About 18 months ago, my son Zach was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a disorder that lies on the autism spectrum. We’re fortunate that Zach is high functioning, and we’re blessed in that Zach’s strengths are many. With the therapy he’s been receiving, coupled with our understanding of what he’s dealing with, I’m happy to say that Zach (or as I like to call him, “The Zachman” or “The Zach Attack”) is doing great. But there is no cure, and there are families that are challenged with a much tougher situation.

For that reason, I contacted The Autism Society of Colorado (ASC) to see how I could become more involved. With their help, we’ve founded The ASC’s Running Team, and I am training for the Kaiser Permanente Colfax Marathon on May 15th (just 4 weeks away!), and we’re hoping to raise some much needed funding and awareness for the Autism Society of Colorado.

Since getting involved with ASC, I have been amazed at how much the organization is able to do for such a large population. With their mission of improving the lives of all affected by autism, ASC provides information for families affected by the diagnosis; advocates for policies to help families and individuals and provides families with an atmosphere to enjoy the simple pleasures of going out to dinner or seeing a movie together.

As I am now I crunch time, please consider supporting me and the organization as I run in the Colfax Marathon on May 15, 2011.

There are two ways to donate:

OR

  • Mail a check to:

The Autism Society of Colorado
550 S. Wadsworth Blvd, Suite 100
Lakewood, CO 80226

Either way, please be sure to note my name and the Colfax marathon. Of course, all donations are tax deductible.

So, on behalf of The Zach Attack, me, and all the other families who live each and every day with this challenge, thank you for all your help and support!

Thanks,

Jim

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I am Zen Mommy

Posted by mbamommy on April 12, 2011

(Jacquie W, if you’re reading this, yes, I’m borrowing your FB post line from way back when.  Hope that’s ok!)

In this recent quest of mine to stop being stupid via focusing on one thing at a time (aka STOP multitasking), I’ve discovered meditating.  OK…..stop laughing…rolling your eyes….groaning…I KNOW. Meditating?  Really?  Dude, I’ve totally moved back to CO, right?  Next thing you know, I’ll stop shaving, grow dreadlocks and start following the Dead.  Oh wait…they’re dead (at least Jerry, and, come on, he’s the only one I know).

Besides, I already tried on the hippie bit back in college in Boulder….it didn’t fit….I like showering too much.

But, I digress.

Yes, folks.  Meditating.  Now, you have to understand, this is not the first step down this path that I’ve taken.  I’ve been eating (mostly) Primal for about 6 months (more on that in another post), with much leeway to fall off the wagon, I buy almost 100% organic, I get my milk delivered to my doorstep from a local dairy, I work out regularly (including yoga) and I recently went to a Naturopath.

I’m guessing your starting to say “Huh?” and “Why?”.  Or just shaking your head and thinking “Man, that altitude has really gotten to her.”  And, yes, folks, even though it’s legal in this state for medicinal purposes, I am NOT smoking anything.

This is all in the pursuit of being a better ME.  Being a better MBA, a better MOM, a better MRS…and mostly just a plain old better ME.

See, I didn’t realize it while it was happening, but the past few years have been nuts.  With so much going on, so much to deal with, so many changes, I kind of lost touch with the present.  And, apparently, that’s what meditation is all about.  Being present. Frankly, that’s what all these life changes are about.

I know that sounds a little odd, but think about it.  How much of your time is spent thinking/reliving the past or stressing/planning for the future?  When you’re multitasking: getting the kids breakfast ready, checking email, feeding the dog, thinking about the day, remembering something you forgot to do, writing up a grocery list, thinking about your work project, forgetting to shower or brush your hair…..how much are you actually missing?  I mean, do you actually taste the food you cook?  Do you look at your kids?  Do you listen to what they’re saying?  Do you see their desire to interact with you?

Sadly, I sure don’t.  I’m so focused on doing, finishing, checking things off my list, moving, moving, moving.  And, at the end of the day, my to do list is still there….but my kids will be in college.  And, I really don’t want to look back and think about all the times I missed out on.  Honestly?  I don’t want to spend too much time thinking about the past at all.  Because I want to be able to enjoy NOW.  I’m realizing that as much as I keep saying I want a break from my life, to take a vacation or just sleep in….what I really want to do is focus on the here and now.  ‘Cause you know what?  It’s pretty damn good.  My kids are amazing and getting more amazing each day.  And my husband is wonderful.  And I don’t want to ever take any of that for granted.

In the immortal words of Ferris, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

So, I’m trying it.  Just like I’m trying all these other things.  So far, eating Primal is making my body feel better (my mom has celiac’s….I’m guessing I’m at least slightly gluten sensitive), eating organic and local just plain tastes better (and makes me feel better knowing I’m doing something ‘green’), working out…well, we all know the benefits of that…..and the naturopath has given me some options outside medicine to even out my crazy mood swings (and oh by the way….working a heck of a lot better!).

I’ve only really meditated a few times, but I can already feel the difference.  You’re probably saying, “it’s just in your head”.  Well, yeah, it is.  And that’s where it’s supposed to be.  I’m calmer, more relaxed, more willing to play and SEE my kids, more focused and less “multitasked”.

Who knows if it’s meditation, any of a combination of the above changes I’ve made or simply a placebo affect.  But, you know what?  Who cares.

What about you?  What do you do to find your inner Zen?

Posted in MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Knowing When to Say When

Posted by mbamommy on October 2, 2010

How much is too much?

That was a standard question for me in college.  Of course, it was usually answered the next morning with the phrase “Yep…that was too much” and it usually referred to being overserved at a party or bar.

These days, the question refers to information.  How much information is too much?  With the advent of the intertnet blogging, social media, etc you COULD tell anyone anything anytime.  But, how much SHOULD you put out there for everyone to see?

I’ve always been an open book…I have nothing to hide.  I’ve had my ups and downs.  I’ve had moments I’m not proud of and moments I’d like to exclaim to the world.  But, everything I’ve done has led me to who I am today.  For better or for worse, I am (as we all are) the sum total of our individual take on our own personal history.

But I’ve always been an open book face to face, with people I know.  I have no idea who’s reading this blog or what people are getting out of it.  If it’s good or bad, indifferent or not.  And I constantly wonder how much I should be putting out there.  I’ve noticed that the folks who bear their souls are the ones with the most readers and the most advertisers and sponsors.  I definitely noticed a HUGE spike in my readership when I got less business-esque and more personal with Z’s asperger’s diagnosis.  There’s definitely a bit of voyeurism at play….you get a sneak peak into other people’s lives and, of course, the juicer the better, right?

But, how do you know when you’ve crossed the line from baring your soul just enough to too much?

Posted in MBA, ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

The Modern Day Circle of Life

Posted by mbamommy on September 22, 2010

Do you remember when divorce was for grownups?  When it was the “D” word that your parents spoke about in hushed voices when discussing family friends?  Or, in my case, openly speaking about it as the norm because my folks were divorced by the time I was 2?  It seemed like such an ‘adult’ thing to do.  And I always thought about it from a kid’s perspective.  How different kids had different custody agreements and how frustrating it could be to go from house to house.  Different rules, different clothes, different phone #’s, etc.  And, how in comparison, I was lucky because divorce wasn’t a big deal for me.  It’s how our family worked and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

J and I reminisce frequently about being on the “wedding curcuit”.  You know, when every weekend of your year is booked with weddings, showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc etc?  And all your extra cash goes to flights, hotels, car rentals and wedding gifts?  It was a blast.  You got to go to new places, see old friends, dress up cute, dance, drink, eat and do it again the following weekend.  Kind of like Wedding Crashers, but not with the weird twists….most of the time.

And then we hit the “baby shower circuit”.  Now, weekends were filled with baby showers, “sip and see’s”, making meals for new parents, baptisms, bris’s and buying super cute baby clothes.

Sadly, we’ve hit the “divorce circuit”. No, there’s no parties and no presents.  Just a lot of time on the phone listening, consoling, shaking our heads and wondering what happened or, even worse, looking at each other and saying “Yeah, we kind of saw that one coming”.  And, all of a sudden, I’m thinking about it from the adult’s side.  The anger and frustration and sadness.  The wondering about how it’ll affect the kids and how they’re going to keep it together for their kid’s sake.  I guess the timing makes sense.  I mean my kids are almost 4 and just 2, so we’re right around the age our parents were when divorces were happening.

NO, J and I are not getting divorced.  That’s the beauty and comfort of marrying a Catholic man.  Divorce is a 4-letter word in his family so I’m pretty confident I can act like myself and he’ll still stick around.  Plus, we’re still very much in love.  Even with all the s*#t life’s thrown at us.  I couldn’t imagine doing it without him at my side.

But, it’s sad to think that we know more people getting divorced than getting married or having babies….even their 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies.

What’s next?  The “second-marriage circuit”?

Posted in MRS | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Homecoming

Posted by mbamommy on September 16, 2010

Sorry for the 5 week cliff hanger, y’all, but there’s good reason for it.  See we moved.

Go Broncos!

Not just around the corner, not just down the street…half way across the country….TO DENVER!!!!! Whooo hoooo!!!!  Now, if you didn’t know this, I went to undergrad at CU Boulder.  I’ve been coming to Colorado in the winter and summer since I was a little kid and I started my career in a ski town.  So, for me, this truly was coming home.  We’re closer to family, in a bigger city, J’s got a better/more fitting job and the kids have a whole city to explore in great weather.  Even little A, our resident furball, is enjoying the lack of humidity and cooler temps.

So, here we are.  We’ve been here for about 2 weeks.  We’re renting in a great location near J’s work and in a good school district for Z until we can sell our house and then we’ll start thinking about where we’d like to buy.  And then, we’re never moving again.  Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

To say the move was intense is to put it lightly.  J got the job offer and started 3 weeks later.  During that timeframe, I flew out to Denver, found a place to rent, met with school special ed teams and service providers for Z.  All in, I drove over 300 miles, saw almost 20 rentals, had multiple meetings and multiple glasses of wine all in 3 days.  Then, it was back to NC to pack up the house.  Now, when I say pack up, I’m talking about a 4 part pack.  The first part occured in the beginning of the summer when we put our house on the market.  I “de-cluttered” and “de-personalized” the house so it showed well.  The items I packed I needed to assume I wouldn’t see for at least a year or more.  Stage 2 was packing everything we needed to put in a truck and bring out to Denver.  This had to be stuff that I’d need within the next year but not need for the next 2 weeks.  So, things like toys, clothes, kitchen supplies, etc etc.  Then the truck came and we were left with enough clothes to last for a week, 1 pan, 1 pot and plastic plates & utensils (the eco conscience in me cringed the whole time).  Then, J left to drive the car and the dog out.  And I was left with 2 kids, no toys, no hubby for a week.  Stage 3 was packing all the stuff we were left with…excluding the furniture that was being left to stage the house.  Stage 4 comes when we sell the house and either J or I fly back to empty the house.

Phew!

Wanna know how we made it through?  Our Mom’s.  Seriously.  J’s mom flew out and helped him drive across country.  My mom flew out and stayed with the kiddos and me, flew to Denver with us and stayed a couple more days to help unpack.  I guess it’s true that a mother never rests.  I’d like to take a moment of silence to praise the s*#t out of our Moms.  I’m not sure how we would’ve done it without them.  I went to the airport with 5 bags, 2 car seats, 2 carry-ons and 2 napless kiddos.  How I would’ve managed that without an extra pair of arms?  No idea.  And, who, aside from a Mom would willingly offer to sit in a car for 3.5 days to drive cross country if they didn’t have to?!? Thank god for Moms.

Anyhoo….we’re here.  We’re unpacked.  Z’s in pre-k 4 days a week and a social skills group the 5th day.  I’m working on setting up a therapist to work with him in the afternoons.  So far, I’ve been extremely pleased with the services we’ve been working with.  The public school he’s in has a fabulous spec ed  team.  The support I’ve felt and the willingness to help of everyone I’ve spoken to here has been amazing.

The transition has been pretty rocky for everyone, especially Z.  But, he’s starting to pull it together.  S is thrilled she’s got her “Moppy” all to herself every morning when Z’s at school and both kids seem to think the Kids Club at the gym is ok, which means I get to workout. 🙂  I miss my friends in NC, I miss working and having more free time because the kiddos were in preschool all day but after 4 weeks of tough changes, things are smoothing out.

It feels good to be home.

Posted in ME, MOM, MRS | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

 
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